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Friday, April 20, 2012

Dun make me use the word 'I Hate You'

First of all, dun u dare blame for what i hve become. It is not my fault since u are the one who decided to change my life by taking the one that i once had. For your information i was very happy with my life before u totally crushed it when i was on 16. U send me to hell. It's ur fault for doing so and u got no right to judge me. I'm old enough to take care of myself, i'm old enough to think for myself. Who are u say these things to me when u dun even bother about us? All u do is listen to one side and straight away use that opportunity to scream and shout and scold me when u never listen to my side of the story. I dun give a damn if ur are in a whole lot of stress. Others are the same but they can think rationally so what's ur excuse? Unlike you i have very strong believe in my faith so i can think what is right and what is wrong. I do things each day for the Lord not for you. Unlike u who never support me nor give me motivation but use all ur energy to yell at me trying to hurt my feelings when i'm not in the wrong. U do ur job as parents and i do my job as a child. Ur job is to accept me for who i am. Give me attention and support when i really need it but all u do is discourage me and look down on my abilities. U spoiled my spirit but the reason i just keep pulling my self up is because of what i hve learn in my church for as long as i remember. Without this i will definitely would hve been out of this world. U should thank the Lord that i'm not onw of those who suicide when things go wrong or cut myself when i'm depressed. U have no idea how much i wanted to do those kind of things but i who has at least the brains to think that it is wrong. U never sacrifice anything for me. U dun care about my health and when i finally manage to get good results u just say it's not enough. What the hell are you man? U see me as a disappointing child and i see the same as you. Where were u when i need you? U hypocrites! A child get influence by parents so i'm just a reflection of the two of you who are behaving like this. U never should me how to live and how to carry on in life. U just want a straight and clear road when i want to solve the road when it gets all parted and blocked. U acted like u were never a teenager before and compliment urself how u had never been through what i'm dealing with. WHAT U BEEN THROUGH IS NONE OF MY CONCERNS! U Do ur darn job as parents and guide me to get off this shiity situations.( U selfish dogs! Wanna knw sumthing? I use to feel sorry to think of u two this way but not anymore. U cross the line. I used to love you but now i dun. I used to tell myself i was wrong to be mean at you but U MADE me do it. U made me hate u and u made despise u. U dun listen to me when i really need u. U were not there when i was in pain and hurt. U asked me my frens are more important. U knw y? they are ones who been there for me. They listen to me and the support me. They accept me and made me feel special. When i decided to tell u my problems u close one ear and thought of me as a disgusting difficult child. U dun reason things out when ur mad. U just throw all these hurtful things at me. I used to cry because of that and i use to often go into my room and locked the door and simply just pour my eyes out. Not anymore. I changed. I realize how i dun need u in my life. I learn to do things and solve things. I knew who i can turn when i'm down. One day u'll regret when all these. Keep it up u'll definitely regret it. U just wait and see. I'm growing up and i'm getting wiser on things. Dun make me hurt u in future and u'll start blamming urself. Now u just shout and blame my actions when u cannot see the reason why i'm acting this way. Just wait and see..for i'm sick and tired of ur act. It is time to close the curtains and realize urself before it's too late. (i'm sorry if i had use mean and nasty words in this post but it can't be help. Do understand)