I'm sick of this mask

Hey guys, here i am sitting in front of the com figuring out words going through my mind thinking tht wat the heck m i gonna type in this post. Well, i been through alot this month or this year as you can say it. Hmm..i really don't knw wat m i gonna post here...but i wanna post something. hmm let's start with my hair, ok i cut my hair like really really short. U can actually mistaken me as a guy from the back. Anyways, the reason why i cut my hair is 1. Malaysian weather is like an oven covering up the whole country, 2. I wanted a new look and 3. well i'm trying to figure out what makes me who i am. I been living with the dark sides sometimes but no i have not been doing witch craft or spirit haunting or any of those bull s*** crap...just i been feeling really bloomy this month and dressing up all black and painting my nails..black even. Black really been suiting with my mood nowadays. I more growing my bond with punkish look over my self. Don't really know why but yeah kinda luving it. I think..i'm just lost. I fell into the dark hole and now i'm trying to find the light.I kept thinking..no i don't think i'll ever find my way back. I hate living a life with same routine and shit but i wanna start having life into my life...get wat i mean? Right now m grooving to Carrie Underwoods song ever ever after. Pretty good song. It's a soundtrack from enchanted. Good movie. Anyways, I been logging for something happening in my life. But to be honest i don't really knw wat i'm logging for. I just hope..in my 4 years of college, i will have the best time in my life...and find the real me. I been stuck into this mask for so long. I need to find my way back or m gonna have shit for life. It's like everyday, i growing even more gloomy and seems to be loosing people i loved and things i been so attached with fro so long. I been feeling unappreciated by people i thought were my friends. i need Him into my life. I need Him to help me find myself otherwise m really going to get screwed..