This is me...

Hello my friend, i think i just realized that whenever i feel down or dun knw how to expression myself..i come to you...well, today i come to you once again. I'm practically turning 17 next month and still in the process of growing up i still hve a mind of a 16 year old girl. i dun understand why some people like to treat me like i'm 30 or in my twenties. You see, coming for a 16 year old girl i'm not mature yet and i still need people to make decisions for me and tell me what to (although i hate it when people does tht) anyway, i wished that some adults can understand my situation as a TEENAGE girl growing up just like to go through life experience as much as i can. I like to have fun. I like to be adventurous. I can't sit at home all the time lock in my room doing practically nothing. I'm a quite person. I keep alot of things in my mind which i dun show others what i'm thinking. My frens say i dream alot..actually i 'm not. I being in my own world. Asking questions and answering them my self. I like to think about the future and i make plans about the future in my head. Tht's why i like to write...i love writing...because writing is the only way i can express myself. I'm not a type who speaks everything abt what i feel..no..tht's not me. i always forget what to say or i'll reconsider my feelings which make me feel worst later on. I'm being me. U dun judge and i won't judge you. U dun me..although u THINK u knw but no..u dun. My childhood up till now made me open up my eyes. I been through alot. And i'm practically the only one in my family who seen the worst tht could ever been seen. My brother is still young and he is still going through his childhood..my cousin..i'm not really sure but i know she does not go through what i did. Parents fighting, having to choose which parent u prefer best at such a young age..hearing family backgrounds which is sometimes unpleasant..and having the feeling of being useless. i'm always being compared. Ever since young i always been compared. My family doesn't realized this but i do. They dun knw tht they were comparing me.. and i always been compared to one of my family member but i'm not going to mention who is it. She should knw for herself or maybe she doesn't. People say i'm too sensitive...maybe i am. I'm me..who are you? I know myself..and i'm still getting to knw deeper about myself. I knw what and who i believe in. I dun need you to tell me. Since young i have a very strong faith. I always hve and been. I dun need some book or go trough seminars to find out that the Lord loves me..because i knw. He has been with me and had help me pick myself. U didn't. U were not there when i need you..you were not there to save me. He did..it was all Him. Dun take tht from me. Dun try to change my faith. I make mistakes..it's for me to correct them and it's for me to learn from them...not you. Ever since i was young....i never loose my faith...because he is all i hve. He is there when i need him. He never gave up hope on me..nor will i ever gave up hope on him. I love him. U can be all disappointed with me for all i care. No one in this world can teach me better about faith then Him. He show me how to have faith EVERYDAY in my life. Did u knw tht God had tested my faith EVERY single day? Did u knw how strong my faith is now? A person is a person. We learn from things we see and do. U can teach a child about life..but U can't tell a child how to live their lives. Everyone has the rights to make their own decision. I do too. so please, do not..because of this ruin everything we had together. Dun ruin this relationship just because you can't make me become someone who u want me to be. i'm tired of being whatever they want me to be...i'm sick of it.I hve nothing against u. You are important to me just the same as He is important to me. He is my saviour and my hero...don't take it away.