Will the world accept me?

Hey u out there~ m back! Now alot has happen but i'm gonna vut to the chase. U see m starting college next week. Finally, my prayed was answered. basically it wasn't the college i wanted to end up in but i'm grateful tht m able to go. Anyway, college...yikes? gosh this is all happening so fast i mean. i just remember tht i did my SPM and just got the results last month now m starting college...4 months of break really gone by so fast. And, the saddest point was tht i..quit my job. My first and best job(at the current moment) ever. I miss everyone. i really do but most have resigned too and further their studies. I remembered when i first did the interview. Haizzz....really, alot sure has happen. Now tht i'm starting college.. i wonder what kind of people i'll meet. i just hope i'll fit in the society. It's so far..from home which makes me even more nervous. i hate tht it's far. And worst of all, i hate tht i have to take a bus there everyday till i get my P. But~! I just got my L license today! whooopy~~ haha, i feel so so... i dunno. i feel like i need to sit down and breathe a moment. Time is going by so fast. it's like u have to catch it to make sure u dun loose the time u want to spend with ur love ones. Haizz...m scared and m getting scared and scared each day. And my parents? haizz.. i dunno. I'm not sure if they are ready to let me go. I'm growing up and i want to explore more and get more experience...NOT play by the rules or book or whatever u call it. Sometimes u just gotta break the rules abit or changed it(in a good way i mean). I want my parents to trust me like how i trust them. i want them to knw tht i knw how to take care of myself and i knw wat i must avoid. i do respect myself and i will never let anything happen to me cuz i knw even myself do not any harm in my body. Basically m a clean freak to my body. I can't stand having one dirt or mud on my skin. I can't focus on anything if i'm all sweaty and smelly. i use to even wear slippers to take a shower when i was kid. While bathing just because i didn't want my feet to touch the nasty floor even if it's clean. so yeah. Lol abt my driving. aha i fail like four times just because i took it in english. But when i took in bahasa melayu..i pass. No makes sense i knw. but nvm i'm happy i pass and i have made it this far. So i'll end it here and will post..ok i can't promise soon but i'll post..again. Sumwhere in future. xD Chaozzz my lovelies~

Sisters forever?

Hey guys, it's been a long time since my last post but here's another yeah. It's been so so so long...yeah alot has happen. I'm currently enjoying my job. Good frens and good manager. Lol kinda reminds me of school. :) I'll be registering for driving nthis sat and i'm hoping it will turn out well cuz i really wanna get my license before college. Kinda abit nervous to start college life. i mean feels really.. i dunno scary? Meeting smarter people then u, puberty? peer pressure? lol...yikes huh? Anyway, about my title post well, i meant by sisters forever is tht, u see i been questioning abt my best fren lately, well i'm not sure if we should call each other best frens anymore, not tht we're not frens anymore, we are just tht now, i think she decided to grow farther relationship with me...i dunno it's just tht she doesn't seems to appreciate our frenship. I understand tht we dun see each other anymore but, my point is i guess iwas a little hurt or more cuz i done alot for her. i been a good fren and was there when she needed me but now she's acting like none of tht happen and come to think abt her character, i see why i had been so stupid to go along with her rotten characteristics. But now i see how it is. I have to move on and forget abt her. She's just sum1 tht i use to knw from now on. Good riddance my fren, i wish u happiness in future.

Pls just back off!

Ok...m starting to get really mad at my parents and relatives already! I want them to just freaking BACK OFF cuz i knw wat i'm doing. Dun compare me, dun comment about my character and DUN JUDGE me!! i'm me and tht's it. I didn't judge u so dun judge me! I 'm working and tht's MY MONEY I EARN! I spend how i like it! F*** off and leave it. I knw my budged and i NEVER question u on how u spend ur money so dun start on me cuz u really starting to get on my nerves. U just wait till i grown up then u seelah. Dun regret it. Damn u people! I already been frustrated with my job so just shut up and give me support. Dun wan to give then go away and let me do it my way. I'm growing up and i need good guidelines not ur lousy complain or insults about me! If u love me then love me. I love u just the way u are so DUN upset me with ur words and actions cuz i'm human and i have feelings. Sometimes it's really hard NOT to swear! I hate myself for swearing but really i can't help it anymore! Sumtimes it just busrt out but i dun mean it! Haizz...i prayed everyday tht the LOrd will help me changed...

Ho ho... Oh no!

Merry Christmas people~~ :) and a HAPPY new year~. :D Ok..so let's see here..have i open up my presents? Check..wished all my frens? check..count all my angpaus? double check~ Oh speaking of christmas presents..this year was THE WORST christmas presents i ever receive. First one of my relatives present me and my brother..COUPLE mugs???? Dafuq! Seriously really bad present ever. Second present was...from my aunt. She gave me a book on how to be a great leader? Wth is tht all abt? I swear tht women DO not knw how to give presents. "== What would i want to be involve of being a great leader? sumtimes her presents can be...a little insulting. M not only talking abt christmas times but also in birthdays. I remember she present sum paint ur self pic thing last year..and when i read the box..it was for 4 year olds!! "== i was 16 damn it! Sumtimes i just wished she just give me nothing cuz no point giving me sumthing tht sounds insulting or look insulting. Yes the thought counts but in my defends when u open up the present..i dun think u will be thiking abt THOUGHTS THT COUNT at the moment. "== M not really enjoying my christmas this year and i had a terrible christmas eve ever. I realized i'll never gonna follow my uncle and aunt for outing ever again cuz they are such boring couples. aha...yeah..really..they are. Well i dun wanna waste my time talking abt them. i practically wasted 10 sec of my life mentioning them I knw i sound mean but after wat happen yesterday. I'm not in the mood to forgive them.

MIXPOD IS CLOSED..?!?! Great now how m i gonna update my songs..."=.= darn website..haizzzz..so anyway, like i said in my previous post i was looking for a job..and yes i found one. But this shall be my second job actually. I'm not gonna give away to much abt it but i'm starting my first day here and yikes m pretty nervous..i mean i never done this before and i'm afraid i might screw it up. Hope i didn't just jinx it..lol. i was lucky to get a second job cuz for the past weeks i been searching an searching till i almost give up. I thought i was gonna spend my hols at home...rotting..till my results release. Phew. Well sometimews when u have a little faith and just keep on praying..miracle things seems to twist it around and make it come true. ;) aha..well i dun think i'm gonna post much cuz nothing has happen or anything interesting happening arounds here...since my skuled years has ended...everyone is just simply busy working or lazying at home so i rarely meet any of my frens nowadays....NEIL PATRICK HARRIS IS GAY!! T__T tht was a shocking news for me cuz i uesed to watch how i met your mother on starwolrd and i never he was...gay..and then i watched smurf and he with his wife..and then i found out his gays kinda makes me feel awkward watching his movies every now and then. BUTS~ there's smurf 2 coming soon i hear..and boy i'm looking forward to day..:D haha k i gtg..so chao peeps.

It's over

Hey people..it's been a while yes. But i got bored Fbing so i decided to uodate my bolg. Pffft obviously. Anyway, SPM or shaill i say ASS PEE MMM is over! X) I can't believe it..i graduated from skul...no more..skul....it's like a dream i just woke up..but i can't believe it happen..really...i mean..wha..hold on..i'm not schooling anymore??? It's like..whao...u can see how time pass by..and gosh..i'm speechless..really i am..now i dunno what to do with my life...m planning to get a job this month..but yeah..let's see first..aha..i hope God gives me a job tht i'll like..hopefully...yesterday was my last paper..which was account..I seriously dunno what i crap in there but i prayed..EVERYDAY tht i did well for each paper...i dun wanna disappoint my parents nor mtself..so God..i surrender everything to u O LOrd. :)I'm so...tired..lol just went Tesco with fam and had KFC for dinner. :3 Aha sorry if this post is lame..just wanted to update sumthing. :) Bye people. :D

Frens or ur lover?

If i were to ask you a simple question..and i asked if who would u prefer ur frens or ur lover? what will your answer be? Sometimes i just dun get people. They fall for someone and they simply just forget about their frens who had been with them before they were in a relationship, who lend a shoulder to cry on, who wipe their tears off, who comfort u in ur time in need but in the end they just spat on them like it was not worthy. WEll, in my opinion no matter how much they hurt you, i just dun knw why but i still be there for them even if they hurt me deeply. I just i forgive easily. Whenever i feel sad or just hurt i remain quite till i feel like talking again. I dunno why but i just do....and sometimes people dun get tht. They just keep bugging me and trying to make me talk and i just keep quite and i m sick of people pissing me off. why can't they understand that i'm not happy and i just want to be alone? Inside me is screaming like really screaming and crying but outside i just look like nothing's wrong. I try to stay strong and hold all the sorrows in me. Then when i found a nice plave, i'll pour my heart out till i'm better or i'll pray. And maybe self soothing myself with food and listening to songs in my room. Quiet and dark. I dunno why i'm even posting this. I guess i read and article before then when ur hurt or heartbroken you should pour out ur feelings to a paper or table rather then keeping it tied up. :/ Take care.<3