Parents~...

I can never understand my parents and the feeling is mutual for them. I dun think in my family we understand what we're going through..lifes hard and everybody have different opinion. No one is perfect. We go through life difficulties and we choose whether to stand up again everytime we fall. Today i had a VERy rough day. I'm so freaking( i wish i could say the F word) tired. My mom scolded me for skipping tution even i tried my best to not skipped it cuz I.HAD.NO.CHOICE. It's not my fault ok? My moral teacher needed my help..but before i touch that part i actually took the risk by staying back for my english on wheels club. Teaching primary students is HARD..Espectially those who hate u and u hate them. Anyway, after my section i was planning to go straight home. I had too cuz my mom will cut me up if i'm late but eventually she had the chance.Anyway, i was on my way home but then my moral teacher came to me and begged me to help her cuz she was so tight up and i couldn't refuse( what was i thinking?) so i said sure. She promise to send me to tution as soon as the job was over but then later on i end up going home at 6.30 ( so much for going to tution) and that's when my mom came and yelled at me for being a slacker. Yeah well so what if i am? I'm not saying i am but if i AM a slacker or a drug dealer who is she to judge me when she too could not judge herself? She DOES NOT KNOW ME TOO WELL to start yelling at me. AS a mother you should know what sort of a person i am and accept and respect who i ought to be. I'm not a parent yet so i can't say more than that when or IF i am i would never be like HER. I'm not trying to put dirt to my mom's character but you see...i might be a better person. I mean if i have a child i would or will understand what's happening to his/her life CUZ i was once a teen. 'Saling memahami antara anggota keluarga' that's something my parents+family should have or learn. I dunno..once i'm all grown up..let's see how things goes..if this is how they are going to threat me then i WILL break my connection with them. What i'm typing her is just words..but if ur in my place u'll knw how i feel. Many people may use this phrase more than once but any teen goes through what i been i knw what they're feeling. i better appologize to my friends for acting such a jerk today cuz i was in a bad mood for skipping tution and 1 kind of took it out on them. THis is what i'm posting now so just wait till i post another u knw...post.

Argh..major headaches...

S-so tired! Woke up 5.30, go to school at 6.45 survive 3 periods of ADD MATHS! Came home at 4.30 went to tution at 5 came home and suffer a mojor headache...Argh! *rips brain off* I wish i could lead my life just like my puppy..all he does is sleep, eat and play.It's so much easier cuz all u hve to do is worried about the meals ur getting other than that sleeeeeeeeepp!Geez...i'm figuring out what course i should take right after SPM..it's like i can't think. I like accounts but i kept asking myself..does this course makes me intrested to become one(accountant). Urgh! i'm soo mess up i'm worried EVERYDAY and EVERYTIME! I stress myself out so much. I kept thinking i NEED to be good, better, good enough to be the same level as those smart people. It's so freaking hard!! When u look at those children playing in the park..do u EVER wish ur were in thier shoes? I knw i do. Avoid the reality and concertrate on being a kid..having fun and go through childish times.It's like no one can accuse of being a kid and people gets it. If ur a kid u get laid off easily. Being all spoil and stuff ( well for some people)xD if i hve the power to turn back time..i'll go back the time i was like 6....so much easier...yikes i better go...too tired now..think i'll get so shut eye.:D

That's just life.....

Hey everyone! It's been a while haven't it? Yea well i done all my mids and gotten my results got number 11 in class got 3 As and fail one sub(add maths) and struggling to find which collage to go to and ask for scholarships.I been busy doing research and all...it's just so hard to find what i really wanna do in life. Am i mean at first i wanted to be a nurse(can't lie to u there) but now i want to be an accountant it's just so hard. To be honest i wanted to be an accountant because the pay is quite satisfying. I'm not really sure if i'm that intrested in accounts but i like the subject. It's nice and intresting but gee...i dunno. my desicion is so mixed up right now....i want to get a good job and i want to love my job cuz that's what i'll be doing for the rest of my life.Spm is next year and who knows what i can get for my results. iwork harder now but ineed to work even harder!! it's not easy. I'm upset with my dad for being too proud at my brother for getting no 3 in class and never said anything about my position. I drop from 8-11. But wait! the first exams doesn't count cuz i oni got i A and mids i got 3 As! i never my life for that before and what do my brother get? No As..just 4 PJK and he got no3 in class. I'm battling with sum smart people in class and my dumb brother is NOT! Do u realize how hard is it to get higher marks than anyone?? WEll do u? I work my butt of for my results and my dad didn't even congratualate me but go "oooh Christopher u got number 3 in class that's good" and i'm been sulking at that time. Parents sometimes expect too much! I use to fail alot last time now i'm doing better and now they expect more from me??I got limits too u knw. My limits in greds is dependant. How am i too please them till they were proud of me?? It's not easy to be an excellent daughter okey? Wish they could cut me some slack.....

That's the way it should be..

I been thinking alot lately and i think since i moved to Puchong...i can see that i must stand on my own two feet. My life has totally changed and i have to go through alot of things on my own.It may be hard but i have to stay strong. In school...i have to concertrate by myself. I hve to focus and no one is there to help me. I have to understand everything by myself. At tution,i felt like i'm the most stupid person there..my anwsers are always wrong i feel like i'm failing all the time. I tried so hard but my effort wasn't enough. I dun hve much friends there oni one. At chuirch my best friend left me and i have to continue my time being alone and friendless. I'm not sure what this is..could it be a punishment? Or just something that God wants me to learn and be something useful. I ned and i MUST gain more knowledge. This few days i'hve been wasting my time on the computer and i can't seem to stop! It's like i became addicted to it. This has to stop. My english and my bm spelling gotten worst. I feel like all the things i used to knw slowy started to vanish. This is all my fault. I must get my knowledge back before i became more stupid. My history about the world is soo low. I'm not even good with directions..and i suck at doing house things...cooking as well. i'm totally useless. Yes i'm useless. i have to find away to get more knowledge aobut things before i hve to regret this for the rest my life...

Just another fairytale

Today's topic is not gonna be about fairytales actually..i just love the topic. xD So helllo my blog! How are you? Hm..dun u think it's weird to say..'Dear blog, today is a vry happy day for me...' it's like ur talking to ur blog. Just a wonder, y do people say dear diary or dear blog or dear whatever? it's not like they can reply to us...yeah i guess i'll never know that won't i? Anyways! I fineshed my exams and i'm like totally free and there's two weeks of hols! TWO SWEET WEEKS OF NO SCHOOL!! Isn't it great?? I mean...wow...no skul but there's homework and tution.:(*sighs* this is like one of the ways to kill a teen! I mean homework for hols? I mean i dun blame the tution cuz parents are paying but homework!"== Which part of the holiday do they not get?! H.O.L.I.D.A.Y! Shhesh! it's not what us students get everyday!Would it kill them to not gice us homework?! Urgh!!!! Yeah i knw i'm getting all melodrama bout this but i can't help it..i mean i just had my exams finish(after 3 weeks of studying like a maniac) and i would like to use my time doing things i like to do..i dun hve the mood to pick up my books and start seraching for the answers and trying to do them like maths and add maths! i been holding a bout of the past three weeks and it's getting into my nerves! Wow! Must be the stress. xDbut nothing a little two weeks of hols can't help. :) Hehe i'm like watching barbie mermaid something. xD i dun knw y i'm still attracted to kids shows. :) it's like fun to watch u knw...there's something u get to knw about childish shows...they hve kid of thing that it's like straidght forward u knw..if u compare barbie movies to high school musical for example...no bengkang bengkok...u get it? like no..distractions nothing to make it seems so yer...y she must act like that ah? Those type of things..barbie movies are like calm and happy kind of type.:) Aha...so let's just get back to the topic..the point is...children shows are really nice to watch..they dun show about what is life happening but just what life should be.:) Urgh! my fingers are like tired of typying so TTFN!XD

I think it means something...

O-k i bet ur wondering what's up with the pic and this title. Well, today's topic is about life,journey,the meaning of it . I'm 16 so i dun really knw much about travelling cuz i seldom travel around. But, when u look at this picture, just clear off ur mind for abit..calmly look at it without any distraction goin on through ur mind like just empty it..take away all that stressful thoughs and u can see scratch that, feel like ur in the picture. Can u feel it? I chose this pic cuz it makes me imagine i'm in a place where there's no worries but just peace, happiness and enjoying peaceful life...hace u ever had that feeling? a place where u could just go and avoid the chaos and pollution happening aroud the world. I'm a city girl(i think) and i dun really hve much knowledge in country side but i think there are so lucky if they get to see this types of places. Um..apart from what's in that place wheather it has leaches or snakes or any of that kind of thing...take avatar of exaple..those blue people (xD) hve u watch the movie? I think it's a very great movie. Oh i sure wish i'm there.:) I like houses that hve alot of nature things..i'm a type of person that loved being surrounded by nature since young actually. I remembered the time my fren Jac gave me this little tiny waterfall box...when i click and the water stars running...it's so...beautiful.:') I mean if u close the lights and let in alittle bit of small light shine in..with few candles and just sit at a corner and listen to the sound of the water running..ahh...peace.;) I pick this song cuz i think it suits todays topic. Lol. Every lyric in this song...it's soo...meaningful.:) Maybe u dun get what 'im actually trying to pointed out here..me neither..i just type what comes in my mind...despite my typing errors(*sigh*) but i hve quite a imagiation as u can see.:)

It been a long time

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm BACK! Lol i'm so sorry for like not posting for SUCH a long time cuz i got some com issues but no matter my mom took care of it.:):) Thx mom! Anyway, the most hottest news right now in Malaysia is that people could not get off the bieber fever! I mean everyone is still talking about it even after he left..like um he came i think at 21st April.:) Awesome. But sadly, i didn't get to go the concert but i went to watch his movie in 3D. I love 3D movies the seems so real especially scary ones. :) Oh I forgot! I manage to get no 8 in class.:) Yay! And i got 4th place in sum essay competition.:) I'm quite proud on meself.:) I'm working hard cuz mid-term are around the corner..so another 3 weeks of not posting...:( so many things happen but the problem is i just can't recall! I hate tution! the people there are so stuck up! Plus, WHY must they give us mid year exam when our schoool exam is already a pain in the neck!Gosh! I kind of miss my long hair......sort of regret of cutting it..but the past is the past...no turning back unless you knw..there's a time mechine or sumthing.xD Argh! i guess i should go now..there's alot i hace unfinished bussiness to do. xD