It's clear to me now...O

Ok. See this pic? What does it tell u? WEll in my little opinion, i think this pic really gives me the strength to hold to the Lord. I mean to see the Lord catch u from behind when ur about to fall is seriously inspiring! I mean come on..who will be there to catch u when ur about to fall from ur knees? U knw, i'm really glad to be born as a Christian! To actually knw tht there is actually someone there who catches u, be with u every single day without fail. There's no human tht is perfect enough for tht. I think the reason i keep holding through life is because of Him. Everyday i love him more and more...some of my frens dun get it. Whenever they ask me, y hold on to something like tht, I felt so sorry for them. Because they can't seem to see and feel what i felt. I always try my best to share the word of the Lord to my frens but i can see tht they are not interested. It's quite sad actually. Plus, i hve a fren who is madly in love with a guy who is a catholic like me. But she's a different religion. She got so upset tht he wasn't interested in her because she's from other religious. And she complain to me and i remember she said 'Catholics are so stubborn' at tht point i wanted to slap her. But of course rational thinking..i hold on to myself. Just becuz he's not interested she said tht?! I just smile and said 'Oh well'. But i knw i should defend myself but i guess i just kept quite because i leave it all to the Lord. I hope someday, the Lord will touch her and make her open up her heart. Sometimes i just want to run away from this earth and just ran to the Lord. I knw He will come to me with open arms. U see tht's what is so AMAZING about God. He doesn't look through ur sins. He is always ready to accept u if ur ready to accept him. Sometimes i just wanna leave everything behind and walk with the Lord. I always dreamed since i was a little girl, tht one day i can see Him. I always wanted to see Him. I'm just anxiously waiting for tht day to come. Keep on waiting everyday. To simply just go away from this place. It's so filled with crimes, lies, heartbrokens and worst of all, not being accepted by others. It's....it's.. so shitty! U knw?! Forgive me for my language but tht's how i feel.Anyways, my holiday just started and here i am infront of the com updating my blog, nothing else to do although i hould really get started on my homework and my accounts project but yeah..lazy mode on. But hopefully i'll be able to get things done before next week because i really want to enojy my second week of hols to the fullest! ;)

Dun make me use the word 'I Hate You'

First of all, dun u dare blame for what i hve become. It is not my fault since u are the one who decided to change my life by taking the one that i once had. For your information i was very happy with my life before u totally crushed it when i was on 16. U send me to hell. It's ur fault for doing so and u got no right to judge me. I'm old enough to take care of myself, i'm old enough to think for myself. Who are u say these things to me when u dun even bother about us? All u do is listen to one side and straight away use that opportunity to scream and shout and scold me when u never listen to my side of the story. I dun give a damn if ur are in a whole lot of stress. Others are the same but they can think rationally so what's ur excuse? Unlike you i have very strong believe in my faith so i can think what is right and what is wrong. I do things each day for the Lord not for you. Unlike u who never support me nor give me motivation but use all ur energy to yell at me trying to hurt my feelings when i'm not in the wrong. U do ur job as parents and i do my job as a child. Ur job is to accept me for who i am. Give me attention and support when i really need it but all u do is discourage me and look down on my abilities. U spoiled my spirit but the reason i just keep pulling my self up is because of what i hve learn in my church for as long as i remember. Without this i will definitely would hve been out of this world. U should thank the Lord that i'm not onw of those who suicide when things go wrong or cut myself when i'm depressed. U have no idea how much i wanted to do those kind of things but i who has at least the brains to think that it is wrong. U never sacrifice anything for me. U dun care about my health and when i finally manage to get good results u just say it's not enough. What the hell are you man? U see me as a disappointing child and i see the same as you. Where were u when i need you? U hypocrites! A child get influence by parents so i'm just a reflection of the two of you who are behaving like this. U never should me how to live and how to carry on in life. U just want a straight and clear road when i want to solve the road when it gets all parted and blocked. U acted like u were never a teenager before and compliment urself how u had never been through what i'm dealing with. WHAT U BEEN THROUGH IS NONE OF MY CONCERNS! U Do ur darn job as parents and guide me to get off this shiity situations.( U selfish dogs! Wanna knw sumthing? I use to feel sorry to think of u two this way but not anymore. U cross the line. I used to love you but now i dun. I used to tell myself i was wrong to be mean at you but U MADE me do it. U made me hate u and u made despise u. U dun listen to me when i really need u. U were not there when i was in pain and hurt. U asked me my frens are more important. U knw y? they are ones who been there for me. They listen to me and the support me. They accept me and made me feel special. When i decided to tell u my problems u close one ear and thought of me as a disgusting difficult child. U dun reason things out when ur mad. U just throw all these hurtful things at me. I used to cry because of that and i use to often go into my room and locked the door and simply just pour my eyes out. Not anymore. I changed. I realize how i dun need u in my life. I learn to do things and solve things. I knew who i can turn when i'm down. One day u'll regret when all these. Keep it up u'll definitely regret it. U just wait and see. I'm growing up and i'm getting wiser on things. Dun make me hurt u in future and u'll start blamming urself. Now u just shout and blame my actions when u cannot see the reason why i'm acting this way. Just wait and see..for i'm sick and tired of ur act. It is time to close the curtains and realize urself before it's too late. (i'm sorry if i had use mean and nasty words in this post but it can't be help. Do understand)

Why do these things happen?

why do these things happen? Like this week was a shitty week or me! why? some a** hole stole my WALLET!!!!!!!! Seriously man i feel so depressed. Most of my precious things are in there....i dun why humans nowadays are so sickening? I mean....why steal things? u knw..i dunno but not to be too religious here but everything in this world should be free. yeas isadi it..F.R.E.E. y? cuz it's made from God. And God do NOT charge us for anything. It's just stupid humans who get the idea that we have to pay for our stuff. How stupid right? But anyways, my wallet is gone....My precious wallet which i carried with me where i go out.THis is why i hate my skul! The jerks over there are so immature and so many shitty people who can't get a grip! that's the different between educated people and non-educated people. In my old skul(seafield) U can leave ur wallet in ur bag without worrying about it being lost or stolen cuz the people there are not like here. Thank Goodness it's my last year. I can't WAIT to leave and get the hell out from there. Stupid SHIT SKUL! SCREW U!!!! Gosh i guess i'm still mad. i mean who wouldn't right? Idiots! So basically this post is all about my wallet and dedicated to it cuz i simply love it. Yeah....i swear...if i found out who that person is....he got serious thing coming towards him. Y i said he...cuz i got sum suspicious on a few people who are guys. So yeah...i got no other topics to talk about cuz i'm really not in a mood to think about other stuff then my beloved wallet.....

HAPPY CNY!!!!!!

Hello again! I been meaning to type a post soon but i was sick. So i hope u guys enjoyed ur CNY cuz i knw i did! But unfortunately i gotten really dark....like CHARCOAL! =( y? cuz i went PD for like 2 days and came back looking like a foreigner! Anyway, i got sunburn as well and yeah..i really hate the look i'm having right now. When i went for dinner at my grandma cousins house...i really a moment to think(cuz i didn't hve anyone to talk to) and suddenly i realized that...how i miss the times when i celebrated CNY with my cousin and aunt and other relatives...When i look at the kids(not mine but my aunts) they hve ipad 1 and 2...in a age of 7!!!"== When we were young..all we got was pokemon cards and those family cards. How the things sure change. And i thought...it would be more merry if people aren't so obsessed with their phones and tv...and laptops. But actually talk or hve a simple conversation with one another...i mean..gosh i dun think i'm making a point here. '== but for those who gets me great. So..yeah..gosh my head hurts. i was like deadly sick yesterday so i was like in bed the whole day...sleeping now i feeling abit better i guess. But moving on, hols are about to finish and yeah i'm stuck in bed...but i really couldn't face my classmates this mon cuz..I'M SO DARK!! like freaking dark! :'( i mean i am dark naturally. but not as dark as now...i really do hope that this 'tan' will come off...really soon! i think m gonna change my song list today..hopefully...if i'm not to lazy.

I hope it stays that way...

Hey guys~ hope u guys had a great week. So this week is my 2nd week of skul..and wow! I'm surprise that everything seems so...nice.:) What i mean by nice is that....me and my fren are in the same bus..no one in my class got streamed and i get to sit beside sum guy who can actually teach me add maths and modern maths( Just to make things clear..teacher decided to put us boy girl pattern)I was actually sitting with my frens but he can come in really handy sometimes.:) I just hope things will be great like this till i graduate.:D I pray! xD lol. anyway, i look forward to Chinese New Year cuz ang pau...and..well basically that. I really need to save up if i wanna buy a new phone.."== Anyway, yeah well...since i can't get a job( cuz of my aunt) i have to depend on my allowance.So...this week..it's sort of a stressful week..cuz it's just the begining of the year..yeah. BUT it's thursday now so i look forward to the weekends!;D Aha, i can't wait for my confirmation! I hope it's gonna be sumthing good that i can remember for the rest of my life. It's weird being adult...ok teen going on adult. It's hard to act mature in my age...i mean sumtimes i will but sumtimes i just want to be a kid again. Like if i watch disnet movies( yes i still watch em) or see sumthing that made me recall my childhood...i just felt so LUCKY that i had a chance to experiance things that no more been made. I feel sorry for those who born like..now or in the year 2006-2012. Cuz things CHANGE compare then last time where everybody isn't sooo obsessed with techno!Like phones,MP3, FB and more! Ok maybe i'm abit like that...oni in fb and my mp3.Although..i miss my camp frens but oh well, i'm not really close to them anyways. I been watching hair tutorial over youtube..aha wanted to cut my hair so been looking out for hairstyles. BUT I do recommand u guys to watch lilcammo93. She is awesome! she's Auzzie and yeah. Her accent is nice and all the hairstyles she do suits her and maybe u guys as well. :) In case ur intrested......I got tution later...around five-ish. *sigh* Everyday is tuition day for me..well except for the weekends but on sun..hve to church...">< so i'm oni free on a Sat...i guess. DO UGUYS KNW i'm practically obsessed with the 80s-90s?!! :D THEY ARE AWESOME! I mean..can u really find songs like this now? Uh-huh i dun think so! Although my fren says they suck i strictly disagree with her. Dun u guys feel the same? I mean songs that are created now...dun make sense."== like it's oni the melody and the words they use(which i hve no idea what the are trying to proof) made their songs sound catchy. Believe me if young people are not so intrested in the S word or that, their career will seriously be flushed away. BELIEVE ME! The reason the artist now are so freaking famous cuz of their faces and body looks( bieber,selena,david archuleta..etc)it's not because of their song. Maybe 30% song 70% looks! How do i knw? well, i'm a teen so i'm basically blend in with my generations. EXCEPT like bieber, selena gomez and any of those people. WEll this is a LONG post. So i'll see u guys real soon and BYE~ :)GOD BLESS

Goodbye 2011 Hello 2012

Wow! Just thinking about it reminds me of when i was young and it's like 2001,2002 but now...2012! Gosh! How time sure flies....*sigh* This year is REALLY BIG for me...this is the year where i'll be sitting of my SPM...and shit i'm practically freaking out. Who knew right? it's like the exam for my future. Anyway, i'm posting this the day before skul starts. I seriously DUN wanna go...:'( Usually when skul about to reopen i'll be really happy cuz i get to see my friends! But now...i dun wanna see any of my classmates in my so called 'new'skul(wow it's been a year) I knw it sounds mean but hey...i got reasons. i dun hve the mood for skul with them...they um....let's just say...their own kind. i'm not racist i'm just saying out the facts..great now i forgotten what i wanna say...*sigh* I hve three different lives...not saying i'm 2 face person. In school, at home and at church. The three places(if u call it) is how i can different shape my life...at school i DUN FEEL comfortable at all...cuz i'm always alone..i recess alone and do things solo...at home..i'm with my family which i'm okay with that..cuz i can do my own thing and surf the internet all i want but at church...is where i feel more at home...cuz ok my church is in SFX...and i dun really communicate with my classmates much but i feel like...really comfy..u knw? I just can't wait to finished up my school and bagan my life..i just wanna get away from the people i knw in Puchong...i want to loose contacts with them. It's just so frustrating to be around them...look to make it clear i'm not being bullied ok...i just DUN understand why..and i mean why can they get that it's time to communicate with other people besides their skin color...knw what i mean? That's is why i just can't wait to focus my studies..finished them and GET THE HECK OUT OF THERE...although there's time i wish i could spend my last year of skul with my REAL Frens....*sigh* Anyway..hope u guys hve a great week and see u guys real soon! :)

Another problem

Hi guys. Ok just a review..about my last post. i just wanna clear afew things...i said those things cuz i was really in a bad mood and hurt. I mean, can 't blame a girl who's been pesture by frens and family right? We all had our momoents. Right now i just felt like typing this post to get stuff out of my mind. Next week is my church camp. Well not really my church but my aunt and uncle goes there so they just sign me up. xD oh crap scracth that! It's this SUN!!! :O and i hve to start rechecking on the things i packed! ">< Damn~~ but well i'm in holiday mood so..yeah.i'm having the flu and cough. Just right before my camp! How wonderful eh?
i'm kinda worried to go there cuz i dun really know anyone! :( this really scares me. Plus, i felt so regret to go! I'm afraid the people like to judge on appearances. Cuz i'm really humble when i dress. By that i mean i dun dress like those hot clothes and well design clothes like those people i saw while i was in church. Teenage people nowadays go by fashion. But...it's only 4 days...4............freaking...........d-ays. G-reat~ *worried face* that's alot of days! almost the same as five days of skul! Argh!!!! What m i gonna do?!!!! I need major advise but i dun knw who to go to. Frens? My frens are not help from the time i started at my new skul(i'm reffering to my new frens) family? They wouldn't understand!!!! ARGH! I'm so freaking messed up! :'(